Food, Fire and Flying Golf Balls

My personal record for length of a golf drive is 312 yards with a gentle breeze at my back under otherwise normal conditions. Once.

My new friend "Golf Pro Greg" Stafford can hit a drive that distance once every 15 seconds or so for an hour without really breaking a sweat. That’s why he’s got his eye on 300 such drives in one hour this Friday evening. That would be one 300+ yard drive every 12 seconds.

(Did I mention that I have one such drive in my spotty 41-year history of playing golf? Just wanted to make sure.)

Greg is dedicating his effort this Friday to raise awareness and funds for Springs Rescue Mission. We need that help now, as the fires in the area have diminished the flow of food and other resources into the Mission warehouse. But the bottom line is that our food shelves in the warehouse are pretty much bare between the needed diversion of resources to fire fighters and survivors just days ago and the regular traffic of neighbors in need of food boxes and hot meals at Samaritan’s Kitchen.

The funds raised at drives4lives.com will help restore the supply of food we need for regular distribution. Greg Stafford is deflecting a lot of the attention he could get as he attempts to regain his Guinness world record for most 300+ yard drives in one hour. If you could manage a $10 or $20 donation (maybe more) sometime in the next 72 hours on drives4lives.com, you could be a hero to our neighbors in need (700+ families each month) as you help us feed them.

Drives4lives.com. Just go there and give one of the suggested amounts, or just check the “other” box and give what you can.

That’s what I’m doing. I hope you can join me.

(Ok, so Greg hits a 300+ yard drive about every 12 seconds, and I hit one every 41 years whether I need to or not. Do the math…)

The Qualities of Youth and Neighbors Helping Neighbors

Tell me the prevailing sentiments that occupy the minds of your young… and I will tell you what is to be the character of the next generation.

– Edmund Burke

The cruelties and obstacles of this swiftly changing planet will not yield to obsolete dogmas and outworn slogans. It cannot be moved by those who cling to a present which is already dying, who prefer the illusion of security to the excitement of danger. 

It demands the qualities of youth. 

– Robert F. Kennedy

I walked into the reception area at Springs Rescue Mission and saw a friend standing there. Two overloaded boxes of canned food filled his arms. I relieved him of one box and we began our walk across the parking lot to the warehouse. He beamed when he said, “This is from my daughter’s birthday party over the weekend. Sweet sixteen and she asked for her guests to bring canned food for the people the Mission serves instead of gifts for her. Pretty awesome, isn’t it?”

Yes, it is. We’ve benefited from dozens of such parties in the last year. Reports of those donations never fail to make us smile – maybe not as broadly as do the parents involved, but pretty close.

It is humbling to consider the contributions younger people in our community have made to the Mission in recent months. It is even more humbling to realize that those we serve, and the Mission, occupy such significant space in the minds of so many youth in the Pikes Peak Region.

There are scores of youth-driven fundraisers to benefit the neighbors we serve. There’s no way I can give credit to all of them. Not so long ago two area high school wrestling teams from Pine Creek and Discovery Canyon  high schools made us the beneficiary of gate receipts from a dual meet. Although the young men on the teams are fierce competitors on the mat (a good number had qualified for the state meet), they came together to help ensure that the Mission could care for families in need. A few months before , Rotary Medallion Champion Allie Morgan directed a gift in honor of her achievement from area Rotary Clubs to the Mission.

Youth and youth groups volunteer to serve the Mission in a variety of ways, some so frequently that they know Mission staff by name. Sometimes they plant, paint, rake, sort clothes in the warehouse, help set up and clean up events, and so much more. They come from small churches and mega churches and high schools and families. Sometimes they take on tasks that help us raise funds, as Mackenzie did in learning and testing a new way to help us raise money to purchase turkeys last holiday season. Again, naming each of them is beyond the capacity of this blog. But in every case, when our younger friends show up, special things happen.

Spring always brings proms and graduations and weddings, and thoughts of where all the time went in the lives of the kids we love. The Pikes Peak Region and friends of the Mission can celebrate the fact that hundreds of our youth show their character in being neighbors helping neighbors – a task which often demands the qualities of youth, no matter what our age might be.

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Crochet Synapses, Ladies Who Knit and Other Miracles

Have you ever encountered a situation in which you felt completely out of your element?

Today, I’m thinking about my dear Grandma Nell trying to teach me how to crochet while I was a sixth grader recovering from an appendectomy. I clearly needed something to keep me busy. Against all odds, she brought over a crochet hook (maybe two; I’ve tried to forget), yarn and patiently, painstakingly tried to teach me the fine art of crocheting.

I just didn’t get it. The proverbial light never went on. No one was home in the part of my brain where the crochet synapses were housed.  I was overwhelmed. My stomach began to hurt and my appendix was already gone.

My grandma took mercy and gently removed the mystifying crochet stuff from my hands.

Mind you, I have many family members and friends for whom crocheting is second nature. But the art and science of the hook and yarn are still beyond me. Now as then, when someone enters the room with crocheting material meant for my use I roll myself into a ball and wait for the cartoons to come on. I’m simply overwhelmed.

My situation with crocheting is rather humorous. It is not a crippling thing for me to lack crocheting skills in the bigger picture of life.

But what if the basic stuff of life left you utterly confounded? That’s the situation in which many of our neighbors in Springs Rescue Mission's Resource Advocate Program (RAP) find themselves. Through RAP, scores of chronically homeless friends in need receive the encouragement and coping skills needed to get through the month. A few weeks ago my colleague Sarah sent a progress report on several people who were no longer overwhelmed by things that just a short time ago left them stymied:

“Jeremy went to the pharmacy and got his own meds for the first time ever!”

“Willie Lee came and told us that his meds didn’t seem to be working (amazing self care, first time!)  And on the advice of his Advocate, he promptly went to the VA clinic and got increased doses (after a blood test confirmed that the levels WERE down).”

“Holly and Darrin have been chronically homeless living in addiction – they each entered a treatment program this month.”

“Krystle regained custody of her two children from Department of Human Services and is second on the waiting list to enter the Salvation Army Fresh Start Program.”

 “Will has been homeless for more than two years.  He moved into housing very near his mother’s nursing home and thanks to a lovely donor, he was gifted with a new afghan for his bed.  (This will be a new part of our program – when you move into housing, the ‘ladies who knit’ will make a bed covering.)”

That last item is proof that ladies who knit can be the source of miracles that comfort and encourage. (Just sayin’, in spite of my being crochet-challenged.) In fact, lots of people pitch in to help make miracles out of things that previously overwhelmed our chronically homeless neighbors. One way you can make a big difference right now is to visit www.indygive.com/srm. Then find and follow the prompts to make a donation to support RAP. Even $10 can make a huge difference to help a chronically homeless neighbor through the month!

Charity, Carnival and The Gobble Gobble Turkey Wobble

I thoroughly enjoyed my hometown school’s Band Carnival. We transformed the cafeteria, gymnasium, and outside yard of our high school into a smorgasbord of game booths and food tables. (I also remember pulling regular shifts as one of the “Dunk Tank” targets…hmmm…) The event helped the elementary, middle school and high school bands buy instruments and uniforms. It was quite something for a small town of 3,500 to finance an entire instrumental program for seven grade levels mostly from one event. It was a lot of fun, and it worked.

A far wiser man than I has suggested that the spirit of charity, at its heart, is the spirit of carnival. In other words, it can actually be fun to give toward meeting someone else’s need without expecting anything in return.

In earlier times, carnivals were held in part to provide a central gathering place (and event) that made it easier for people to bring help for those in need. Sometimes carnivals were “sponsored” by communities; other times by fraternal organizations within churches. As time passed, events have been used by schools, youth groups, civic organizations, and others to raise awareness and funds.

This year, in just a few days, Springs Rescue Mission joins with Care and Share Food Bank for the 2012 “10,000 Turkey Team” whose goal is to raise 10,000 turkeys through donations of frozen turkeys or the money to help buy them during the week of November 10-16. Ten thousand turkeys will provide enough protein to cover 330,000 meals for our neighbors in need in the Pikes Peak region and southern Colorado. It’s a challenging task, but not impossible.

And besides – we can have fun making it happen. We need thousands of people like you to join us for the kickoff event November 10 at America the Beautiful Park starting at high noon. The Gobble Gobble Turkey Wobble offers you the chance to not only provide a turkey or two, but to set one, two or three world records. (Please register now to be a part of those record-setting events at www.mysrm.org/wobble.)

You may not feel like you’re taking the problem of hunger seriously enough by having fun while you’re helping to provide protein for 10,000 or so hungry families, but remember the early church wisdom saying the Lord loves people who give out of cheer, joy, or even (in some translations) outright hilarity.

So be hilarious. Come to the Wobble dressed like a turkey. Dance the Twist for five minutes. Do the Hokey Pokey in a single line for another five minutes. Bring yourself and a friend or your family and a frozen turkey.

Let’s have some fun doing good through some cheerful charity. It works!

Guest Blog, Ben Robb: "We have to let you go..."

Ben Robb is a valued friend and colleague of mine at the mission. Over a lot of hard-earned caffeine, I found that I really enjoy Ben's insights and passion. Today, I hope you will too. (Go get 'em, Ben!!)

"We have to let you go ..."

What would you do if you and your spouse both lost your jobs today?

I suppose you'd feel stressed. You'd pray, perhaps. You'd certainly spruce up the resumes.

And then you'd call people. People you trust. People who care about you, want the best for you, would watch for new opportunities and mention your name.

You'd activate your network ... And you'd probably be just fine.

Positive relationships are easy to take for granted--building them comes naturally to most of us. But imagine if all your friends were living below the poverty line. Imagine that many of them were looking for work, too. Imagine that they all lived in small apartments, that none of them had a spare bedroom.

Then what would you do if you and your spouse both lost your jobs?

Imagining life with a different set of relationships makes it easier to see why approximately 800 single mothers are currently living with their children in their cars in the Pikes Peak Region, doesn't it?

You may have read Sarah's story in our recent newsletter (if not, get caught up here)--until recently, she was one of those homeless single mothers. She's also Springs Rescue Mission's first participant in a new program we're calling the Family Mentor Alliance. Here's the concept in a nutshell:

What we're doing to help

Homeless families have a short-term need: shelter. We're currently in the process of developing a safe place specifically for families with children--more on this in another post.

Homeless families have two primary long term needs if they are to avoid ending up on the streets (or in their cars) again--education and relationships.

We seek to meet their long term needs through the Family Mentor Alliance by matching them in a mentoring relationship with members of a local congregation. Our goal for all of the families we work with is self-reliance.

When I met Sarah, she was several months into her time in the family Mentor Alliance and was preparing to move out of transitional housing and into her own place. Committing to a rent payment for the first time in years, she was understandably stressed about the move. But her mentors were helping her.

Honest help doesn't always feel good. Sarah told me about arguing with these folks because the place she originally picked out was over budget. Together, they adjusted expectations and found something smaller, something sustainable. She told me about crying in her living room because her mentors were pushing her not to try to squeeze all of her stuff into the new space, which was smaller than her transitional housing, too.

These guys fought. They cried. They built real relationships--long term relationships. And Sarah has finally  gained some positive momentum for herself and her children.

Why this matters to me

Sarah's mentors are faithfully walking her through a wonderful spiritual curriculum and investing in her family in numerous ways. But it's the everyday stuff that makes all the difference in the long run. It's the positive relationships that matter.

I've worked for a few different non-profits over the last 11 years. Some of them have had a difficult time quantifying their long term outcomes. In my experience, the reason has been that the organization didn't build long term relationships. They might talk about reaching an inordinate number of hurting people (reach is a media term), but they haven't invested the months or years that it takes to walk people through the meaningful and sometimes mundane decisions that actually get lives back on track. And there's nothing more important.

Why it should matter to you, too

You give money to non-profits every year. If you're funding folks whose aim it is to get lives back on track, make sure they develop long term relationships with the people they're helping, whether it's through counseling, casework, or education. There's no substitute for long term, positive relationships.

If you want to help a family, a neighbor, a coworker, or the guy panhandling on your street corner, develop the relationship. There's no substitute for you.

The Squeeze Is On

Derek and Jeannie had to face their reality in a different way a few weeks ago. Their son Abe needed a tonsillectomy, and they had to come up with a four-figure co-pay.  Then they got the news that they didn’t qualify for school lunch assistance for Abe and their daughter Breanna anymore. Under revised guidelines, they make too much money for the program. (Not that what they make feels like too much money to them.)

The bottom line about their bottom line is that they have to come up with an extra 40 school lunches a month now at a time their savings are wiped out. In their wildest dreams, they never thought they’d have to come to the Mission to get help. But for the sake of their kids, they came last week for a food box. Thank God for neighbors like you, dear reader, who bring food to the Mission warehouse or to food collections at schools, businesses, and houses of worship throughout our community. You might be amazed at how many of your neighbors are neighbors in need, if only for a season.

More families than ever are showing up for food distribution at the Mission. I don’t want to minimize the fact that they need all the other things available for families here like clothing, furniture, household and personal items and even (some weeks especially) diapers. It’s that the need for food seems to be rising dramatically -- so much so that we now encourage families to stop by for food boxes an extra time a month if they need to. 

And they’re coming from places all over town. They’re scattered among the local zip codes now. Not evenly, to be sure, but still scattered enough to demonstrate that food insecurity for families is an issue to more of our neighbors than we might have dreamed of just a few years ago. In fact, 1 in 7 people in Colorado are “food insecure.” That’s a less painful way to say those neighbors really don’t know where their next meal is coming from, if it comes from anywhere at all. Depending upon whose figures you read, up to half the population in our state could be food insecure sometime this year--maybe only once, but isn’t that enough?

The squeeze is on for families in need of simple things like food. And there are few situations as compelling to move parents into action as having your kids playing quietly in the next room and assuming that food will be on the table when you’re actually trying to create a meal and there’s nothing left to squeeze out of an empty pantry. 

It’s a wake-up moment. It may be filled with pain or a sense of failure or relief or any combination of the above, but it wakes you up in any case. 

Just as it did Derek and Jeannie last week. So this week, I’m reminding you that the community is coming together over the next two weekends at the Rampart Range campus parking lot of Pikes Peak Community College (across from New Life Church on the north side of town) to offer non-perishable food, clothing, household items, furniture and appliances to help stabilize some of the 27,000 families in the Pikes Peak Region who live in poverty. The things you bring to the “Freely Give, Freely Receive” event will help some families start the journey from homelessness to self-reliance. You might keep others from becoming homeless in the first place. Or, perhaps, you’ll keep a couple of kids in your neighborhood from going to bed hungry.

And if you’re reading this from a distance, think about taking leftovers from the spring cleaning of your closets and pantries to your local rescue mission this weekend.

The squeeze may be on for families in a season of need, but we can do something simple, practical and genuinely helpful about it.

“No” as a First Response?

I remember walking the streets of Omaha a long time ago with John, a mentor who was coaching me on encountering the homeless. He simply said, “When they ask you for something, don’t think money. Think lunch. Otherwise you could end up paying for someone’s self-destruction.”

And as if to prove John’s point, up walked Danny. Mid-twenties, greasy hair, dumbfounded look, hugging a dirty trenchcoat around a neon green t-shirt, ragged khakis, untied hightop tennis shoes. Virtually every stereotypical detail of a down-and-outer or an underground punk rocker of the day.

“Hey, midster.” Danny sounded like he was talking through a thick head cold, and maybe he was. Then he lost his balance and bounced into me. Even in my rookie year of street stuff, I recognized the pungent smell of alcohol and sweat bleeding through his pores. Now nose-to-nose with me Danny asked, “Got two bucks so I can get some cigarettes?”

John didn’t trust my resolve at the time, so he spoke up. “Nope, we don’t have any cash to give away today. But we can buy you lunch somewhere around here if you like.”

I was convinced Danny would say no to the offer and be on his way. Instead, he looked around at the restaurant options on the block and, pointing to a working man’s diner, said, “There.”

So began an eight-year interface with Danny. We started by sharing meals and coffee. Then came the process of encouraging Danny to dry out. Then we helped Danny move into an apartment, and then setting up a shoeshine stand. Often he thrived. Sometimes he stumbled. He helped us pack boxes when my family moved from Omaha to Colorado Springs.

Because he doesn’t read, write, or have a phone, we keep up on Danny mostly through mutual friends. To this day, Danny’s life doesn’t look much like a Hallmark movie ending. But he’s still in his apartment, and still working the shoeshine stand, and sober.

Therefore, in what could be a very unpopular position with some reading this blog I am going to endorse, with confidence, the “common wisdom” answer to a common question when encountering people who self-identify as being homeless.

Here’s the question: If someone who appears to be (or self-identifies as being) homeless personally asks me for money, should I give it?

Here’s the common wisdom answer: No. I agree, and make no mistake, I understand that saying “no” to this question has been characterized as being unfeeling, or at least lacking a sense of solidarity with the homeless. Such could be the case if one uses “No” as a response to shut off all contact and conversation with the homeless.

However, what if you said “No” about forking over cash and quickly followed up with, “But I’ll buy you lunch if you have the time,” and then actually shared lunch with them? Or, “Let me drive you to a place that can really help you out,” and then drove them to the local rescue mission to introduce them to someone there who helps homeless people every day?

Of course, you’d have to be ready to follow through with both the time and resources. And you’d really need to be ready to carry on a conversation -- and maybe even develop the beginning of a relationship. You’d take a few moments to offer a neighbor a better way to cope with life, and possibly restore horizons of possibilities they’ve long ago forgotten.

I used to buy my way out of encounters of any length with homeless people by saying “yes” to their first ask for money. Yet Danny’s transformation began with a “no” to his initial ask for money. That’s because, in this case, “no” was the launching pad into contact and conversation that produced the long-term help Danny needed to battle and conquer homelessness.

It’s gut-check time. Are you up for saying “no” so you can offer a better way, maybe even a supportive presence, to a neighbor in need?